The Only Thing Between Us Now Is The Truth We Understand
Not
quite a year since the last one, then, but after the debacle of Tallington
this mailout has been delayed while we try and sort out something to replace
it. Read on for further information – in fact read on for all sorts
of interesting news, scandal and propositions.
Needless to say we have all been busy here. Children seem to have been
swarming like bees, and the quantity of small plastic items now distributed
daily about the various floors of HQ needs to be seen to be believed.
Technically there are only 2 of the brutes, but they seem to have a strange
ability to multiply at will, in order to wreak greater havoc around the
legs of the expensive antique furniture and tasteful carpeting that the
enormous commercial success of our last T-Shirt release enabled us to
install. Memo to self: must stop buying expensive product and start banging
out cheap seconds like everyone else – then we can afford a nanny!
On top of all this begetting, engendering and husbandry has been the promotion
of Mr. Porter to the role of full editor at the disreputable model aircraft
magazine that pays him to play with Airfix kits. This means that he is
now responsible for 100 pages a month of quality copy, on top of his part
in the rearing of sons and daughters, so the sacred charge that is the
future and well-being of Blyth Power has to jolly well take its turn.
Firstly, the important business of the last caption competition. It was,
of course, as Mr. S. Wag of A Cock’s Green pointed out, The Boys
– a band for whom Mr. Porter holds a deep and abiding affection
(up to the first album at least).
This time round we present some truly awe-inspiring lyrics, of a style
and quality almost comparable with those of Reid and Dangerfield. Read
on, let me have excess of it…
Don't Blame It On Yo Jockstrap Full Of Jizz
Secondly, then, to the small matter of Tallington, and its failure to
materialise. Apologies for this, but the people who took the pub over
last year seem to have lost their marbles. Following 2006’s success,
they were more than happy with the way things went, and even paid up expenses
on the day with a smile claiming it had been a huge success for them.
We’d been a little wary, as they were newcomers, and an interview
prior to the event had led to some misgivings, but after the weekend proved
so successful they were happy to hear from us when we rescheduled. ‘Good,’
we said. And we booked ourselves in for 2007, dates agreed, same terms,
just like we always had done with previous owners.
Imagine our surprise when we phoned up to check the details a month or
so before the event. They were now claiming that the toilets had been
smashed up in 2006, that they’d had to pay over £1000 to mend
things, and that they’d lost a lot of money. They told us that they
could only go ahead if we brought our own toilets and they would not put
up any money for expenses. Somewhat surprised at this, we declined, and
only our extremely good manners prevented us from telling them precisely
where to shove it.
The bottom line is that we would not trust them. Prior to 2006 they claimed
to have spent £1000 on the showers and toilets – no one noticed
any improvements at all. We were among the last to leave on the Sunday,
and there was no sign of £1000 worth of damage. We are not quite
sure what they were trying to achieve, but previous incumbents of the
Whistle Stop have acknowledged the event as their most successful of the
year, so as this lot seem either incompetent, or dishonest, we will certainly
not deal with them again.
I Rock (I Rock) Therefore I Am (Therefore I Am)
But as this baby wants to dance all night, we clearly needed to address
the matter. With this in mind we are pleased to announce that the Blyth
Power Ashes 2008 will tale place at Lumb Farm, near Ripley in Derbyshire,
over the weekend of August 15th – 17th. Lumb Farm will be known
to many of you, and has played host to events on a regular basis. The
stage will be indoors, the campsite and parking spacious, and bar and
restaurant facilities capacious, so anyone wanting a wild weekend will
be assured their needs will be catered for – there’s even
a pool room with tables bigger than some venues we have played.
Cricket will be back on the agenda, as there is ample space, and we are
pleased to announce the first Eastfield Challenge. Jessi Adams, leader
of the opposition, will be captaining the OPFOR in 2008, and we look forward
to preventing his winning a rubbish plastic trophy next year, and in successive
seasons.
Of course all this joy and merriment has a price. Following the disappointment
of this year, we want to make sure 2008 goes ahead with no idiotic spanners
in the works, so we are hiring the venue and campsite, hiring toilets,
hiring Lord knows what else, and if we think it expedient we will hire
a slurry pit and some jugglers to cast into it (this would make a good
spectacle for Sunday lunchtime). This means we need to be trying to recoup
around £1600 over the weekend. On the plus side it means that in
effect we are paying customers of the venue, so we can be reasonably certain
that they in turn will treat people with respect – unlike Tallington
in previous years where people have been sworn at for ordering chips.
A little detail, but sometimes these things make a difference!
Any ideas and feedback on these arrangements will, of course, be welcome.
What we are looking at is around £15 for two night’s camping,
and a lot of music. How we go about shaking folk down for this is a matter
for discussion, but I’m sure something will spring to mind. The
spirit of co-operation and mutual assistance that made Tallington work
so well will no doubt prevail.
Any of the regular bands who want to play we’ll be happy to hear
from, and anyone who would like to be involved in any organisational capacity
please get in touch. It’s still going to be a non-profit making
event. The main difference is that we stand to lose our shirts if it doesn’t
work out, so naturally we wouldn’t be able to do it again.
More details will be mailed out as they unfold. In the meantime make it
a date in your diary, and if you want to check out the venue itself there
is a website HERE
although most of the campsite and the room we’ll be playing in don’t
seem to feature in the pictures.
So Shall It Be Written So Shall It Be Sung
News has come in recently of a couple of ex-members making interesting
career moves. Firstly, former singer Siân Jeffreys has written a
book. It’s called Next to Ness, ISBN 141202681-4, and is a far more
honest depiction of ‘anarcho punks’ in the early 80s than
any of the accounts that have appeared of late. It’s a work of fiction
with some biographical content, largely set in a squat in Brixton. Any
readers trying to understand what was going on in the hearts and minds
of most of the people involved in that mythical and much-embellished scene
are recommended this book as a starting point, as it avoids the kind of
self-importance and self-aggrandisement so common elsewhere. It is available
from Amazon and Waterstones.com
Talking of self-importance, Next to Ness has provided the incentive for
Downward Spiral to get off its bottom and issue one of Mr. Porter’s
dreadful novels to the reading public. There are currently three: Bricklayers
Arms – the fictional autobiography of Jonson, Stonehaven, a black
comedy set in a futuristic political prison in the Orkneys, and Full Circle.
This latter will be first out, and is the story of a train driver reminiscing
on his misspent youth. Some shades of autobiography, we are informed,
but no telling where. Huge announcements will be forthcoming when it appears.
In the meantime watch this, and the usual, spaces.
Other news concerns former guitarist Mr. James Hince, whose name has been
romantically linked with famously thin person Kate Moss. Our researchers
are currently attempting to compile a dossier of Mr. Hince’s indiscretions,
which we will be offering to the highest bidder. Unfortunately there isn’t
really any dirt to dish, as Jamie was a pillar of virtue, but we do know
some other really dreadful people, who have done some really terrible
things, if any one out there is offering a five-figure sum.
Dis Cannot Be 4play Cuz Dis Be 2 Hot
This is the most fun caption competition ever! Members wanting to cop
hold of some really good lyrics, not to mention some early examples of
Mr. Porter’s clonky drumming (he improved) are recommended a new
CD called All Burnt Out by Null & Void. Null & Void was formed
around 1982 by Andy Barker, with roots in Somerset, and Mr. Porter joined
them after Zounds split up. By far and away one of the best bands he was
ever in, the song writing is unique, much of the performance is taut –
except some of the drum fills – and the lyrics engaging and mysterious.
Three things cause Mr. Porter deep regret when he listens to it. Firstly,
the fact that he didn’t write God’s Own Words, secondly, that
he never came to grips with An Old Way, and now wishes he could drum to
it again the way it should have been played, and thirdly – and ironically
– that he was such a po-faced anarcho at the time that Andy quite
rightly threw him out of the band. Thus, he missed the chance of recording
with Joe Strummer, and didn’t actually play on some of the best
recordings on this release. Bugger!
There is a website at www.null-and-void.com. This CD is better than nine
tenths of the stuff that was put out by bands at the time, so check it
out and see for yourself.
Love Jones Is On The TV Again Baby
Further multi-media news! YouTube is currently playing host to a couple
of superb films set to Blyth Power songs. Cynthia’s
Revels and Cider
Dreaming Time have so far received the treatment, with some
superbly constructed visuals and animation. The interpretation of Cider
Dreaming Time is particularly poignant, and we recommend everyone take
a look at the earliest opportunity.
Thanks to Ben and Frank for the time and care that have gone into making
these. We hope one day their work will get the recognition it deserves.
In the meantime check out YouTube.
Right Or Wrong I Sing My Song The Best I Can
Perhaps the most exciting news at the moment is the fact that Blyth Power and Mr. Joseph Porter are actually going to play in November! Blyth have one show up North and one down South, so everyone will be catered for. Joseph is also doing a solo in Derby, and all three events are highly recommended. Given the current state of play, there won’t be many in before next summer, so come along to all three! Other news concerns the ongoing third part of the Land Sea and Sky trilogy. This is still on the cards, and only awaits the time, money and inclination to record it. Just joking. It will definitely happen, be assured.
It's
Late And I'm Runnin' Out Of Clever Things 2 Say
(Madame Chairman's Thoughts)
Two of the things! I am outnumbered – although the little ginger one still retains some primordial habits. If I can nurture within him the belief that he is as one with the beasts, perhaps I can maintain balance!