Night Pours Down Into The Neon Heart - It's Late At Night
It’s
extremely late at night in fact, which is why this issue is being knocked
out in a massive number ten font. Don’t complain. Isn’t it
enough that The Dear Leader has blown the last dregs of the recording
budget making phonecalls to vote out Maxwell and Saskia? This he did for
you! Yet still you want more. Ha!
No doubt you all got the last caption competition? They were not Simply
Red quotes – sorry J.Hilditch of Southwick – but none other
than the silvery verse of our old chum Attila the Stockbroker. Now I wonder
if he voted for Maxwell, or Science?
But enough! Another topical quiz this time round. If you don’t get
it then you are rubbish!
Don't Give Me Peace And Love Or The Good Lord Above
It’s that time of year again folks. Tallington is upon us, and we
abjure you all to keep hold of this mailout and bring it with you, as
it is a special souvenir programme issue, which will tell you all that
is going on.
We will convene at The Whistle Stop, Tallington, during the afternoon
and early evening of Friday 15th July. If you don’t like the dates,
then blame the football fans who asked if we’d do it pre-season.
Next year we’ll be back in August as we suddenly remembered that
we care only for trains and cricket.
Friday’s musical entertainment will commence at 7.00 with an unmissable
event, for which maximum bun-throwing will be required.
Full Friday night acoustic line-up is as follows:
7.00
– 7.25 An acoustic set from Mr Jessi Adams, the crooning Eastfield
bun-target.
7.30 – 7.55 Miss Rosie Wilby will be appearing in your bunsights
for the first time.
8.00 – 8.25 Mr Mark Hibbett will further exhaust your supplies of
breakfast goods.
8.30 – 8.55 A lull in the bun-throwing to appreciate the very splendid
Mr Chris Butler
9.00 –9.25 And to conserve your ammunition for the inevitable Mr
Wob Williams.
9.30 – 9.55 If buns exhausted, then seek heavier missiles to hurl
at… Pog!
10.00 – 10.25 Marvel at the statesmanlike qualities of Mr Mark Astronaut.
10.30 – 11.15 And finally expend the last hoarded donuts on Red
Wedding.
Then
go to bed and shut up.
Saturday will dawn bright and early, and the day’s entertainment
will unfold thus:
11.00
– 11.40 Verbal Warning. A little gentle punk rock to get us started.
12.00 – 12.35 OH NO! It’s Eastfield. Quick – where are
the buns.
12.50 –1.20 Henry & The Highbrows will no doubt be debating
this weeks BB nominations.
1.25 –1.20 The lovely Rachel Pantechnicon will guide us into the
cricket match with her stirring poems.
Between the hours of two and four o’clock there will be a cricket match in the tiny plot of land staked out by the orange-vested stewards. People arriving on Saturday could you possibly put tents up after the cricket to maximise space please? This year we will be aiming to defeat the evil Stortfordonions, so be ready to join the teams at 2.00 behind the Outback Bar. Usual rules apply, so if anyone is aquainted with them, can you let us know...
4.30
– 5.15 Amateur Ninja Club will regale us with some pop music.
5.35 – 6.20 Last ever General Winter gig. Oh bugger!
6.40 – 7.25 Daddy Those Men Scare Me will be demonstrating how tall
they are.
7.45 – 8.30 New York Scumhaters. Ramones songs for those old enough
to remember.
8.50 – 9.40 Anal Beard will no doubt receive the last buns of the
day.
10.00 – 11.00 For who would choose to throw them instead at Blyth
Power?
Go
to bed again and don’t fall into a campfire. Certainly not twice.
Sunday will drag itself down to the Outback Bar again for a real Galaxy
of Stars.
11.00
– 11.40 Thrill to the joys of Pog (the band this time).
12.00 –12.40 Marvel at the wonder that is Jack (also the band).
1.00 – 1.50 Fall at the feet of Wob (yes, the band again).
2.10 – 3.10 Give thanks for a band with two words in their name.
Oh no! It’s Blyth Power again.
That’s it ‘til next year folks. Be good and drink lots of the Whistle Stop’s beer!
I Saw The Blondies And The Blue Eyes And The Millions Mouthing Me
Worthy of special attention is the date in Brighton on Thursday 8th September, when Mr Attila the Stockbroker will be celebrating 25 years of performance with a huge extravaganza featuring a Galaxy of Stars, and Blyth Power. This event will take place at the Komedia, and you are all advised that it will be a cracking do, so come down and have a wild night of frenzied bacchanalia. Advance booking is apparently advised for this. Tickets are available on 01273 647100.
The World Owes Me A Living
Finally, we are pleased to announce two new T-shirts. In XL we have the
new ‘Fall of Iron’ design. This features some nifty Lancaster
BIIIs in silhouette, and is tied in with the next CD release. Available
in black or white XL. For the youth of today we have a new kids design,
featuring a Blyth Logoed Starship Enterprise, and the legend ‘Blyth
Power The Next Generation,’ to celebrate the demise of 56134. Get
your kids bullied by their peers with this fabulous new design! Available
in the traditional green or yellow.
For full details see the Merchandise page.
Did You Ever See Me Touch A Scrap Of Meat
(A Petulant Fottnote From Madame Chairman Meeow)
Meat? I should be so lucky. Fobbed off again with those foul biscuits I am as ever obliged to dismember small rodents for my sustenance. Skinflints.