Greetings from the Dour Larder
Happy new year and ongoing felicitations to all our comrades on this, the mailing list that asks why, when and what for, and which challenges the perceptions, attacks the established mode of the genre and manages to fill whole sides of paper without actually saying anything, while weaving an illusion of profundity. Or so we fondly believe. Goodbye to all those who failed to renew. These miscreants have been smitten off and cast into a Blythless limbo, where they will undoubtedly fret and worry over the fortunes of our cat, and kick themselves woefully for having failed to drop us a postcard. Then there are the ones who will come up to us at gigs and plaintively inform us that 'I seem to have dropped off your mailing list….' Unlike other corporate lists run by OBCs for some famous bands of our acquaintance we here at the Bureau of Endless Sighs have better things to do with our time and money than to send pointless lists of T-shirts to the former addresses of long deceased people who accidentally signed up when drunk. Consequently, however much we love you, and however long you have been coming to see us, it really does help us if folks express an interest every couple of years. In the interests of fellowship and the five-year plan you know it makes sense. Thanks to all who keep sending stamps by the way - what a fine example you set to us all…hint, hint. Which is, of course, a pretentious and smarmy way of saying that Corporate Blyth PLC Ltd. only want to send their pointless lists of T-shirts to people who might actually be interested in buying them. In the words of the old prophet: 'We think it's funny, turning rebellion into money.' Don't knock it…
WWW.Where Have We Been
So what have we been up to since last we met, Dearly Beloved? Oh so much to tell, so little time, and so little space to fit it all in. Even less now we've wasted half a line on needless rhetoric. Firstly. Apologies for the amazing 10,000 cancellations that happened towards the end of last year, and a huge thanks to everyone who came along to the Derby show expecting a band, only to find that due to extreme lurgey in the bass department, TDL had turned up alone with his axe. Everyone was jolly understanding, and we had a wild night of folk instead. Thanks to Chris for doing the support slot. See you again we hope. Now would be a good time to urge one and all to come along to The Fishpond in Matlock Bath on February 19th. It's a sort of party crossed with a gig kind of event. All comers are welcome, and it promises to be an evening of wild and climactic rock. For those of you not yet tired of all the dreary clichés, and fool enough to be taken in by the notion IT'S THE FIRST BLYTH POWER GIG OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!!! Oh well - we'd better go to it then. By the same token, Colney Heath was to have been THE FIRST MR JOSEPH PORTER SOLO GIG OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!!! But he did a set at short notice with the Brothers Miller in Hebden Bridge on Saturday 15th. Thus Colney Heath is relegated to the only slightly less illustrious position of THE FIRST SECOND MR JOSEPH PORTER SOLO GIG OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!!! If you've still not had enough of this particular conceit, then instead of skipping immediately to the next paragraph, read on and discover that, amongst other things, in York on 27th January FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THIS NEW MILLENNIUM MR JOSEPH PORTER WILL BE DOING HIS THIRD GIG OF THE YEAR!!!!!! Of course, owing to the cancellation of the band's Southwick date on December 31st last, the solo spot in Brighton on Sunday 19th was THE LAST MR JOSEPH PORTER GIG OF THE OLD MILLENNIUM. Had enough millennium? We have.
WWW.What's the Point
Second only to THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!! The most important thing in the world is, of course, the Internet. Anyone attempting to dispute this fact will be immediately ostracised. Worse still, they will have to suffer the ignominy of only receiving junk mail by traditional means instead of being able to enjoy it digitally. You poor sad benighted people. For those of you who have subscribed to the New Church, please note that we have a new e-mail address. Apparently - or so this office is informed - we have acquired something called a 'domain name', which means we don't have to pay anyone else if we want to call ourselves Blyth Power. Is this progress? Could be. Either that or maybe it's just another layer of bureaucracy behind which to shelter our society from the harsh realities of the wicked sinful world in which we dwell. Mind you, it saves on the stamps.
WWW.What's Happening Next
Last issue we promised some exciting new developments in the fluctuating fortunes of Blyth Power. Well, thanks to your continuing good will and support, we are looking at a situation whereby we may actually be able to get the steeple fixed this year. The mad despot who governs our collective destiny has announced a new plan aimed at getting the band into the studio in late summer to record the first really new CD since Out From Under the King. First things first, though. The first release featuring Jessie and Bambi will be a CD single featuring five tracks from the current set. They will be old songs, from the Wicked Women era, long since unavailable in any format, re-recorded better, bigger, and with more chocolate on the top. God Has Gone Wrong is on the shortlist, likewise Probably Going to Rain. We've not decided what else yet, but we're looking forward to giving them a decent hearing this time round. Any suggestions will be seriously considered, depending upon the size of the bribe enclosed. Folsom Prison Blues will not be among those chosen. This un-missable piece of action should be available by the time the next mailout is due. Also on the cards is a track on a TUC benefit compilation. More details of this on the next mailout too. Gosh - I can't wait. Just think - THE FIRST BLYTH POWER RELEASE OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!! I'm so excited that… oh dear. I appear to have wet myself.
WWW.Whisky Priests
So what about TDL's career as a folk-singer? What's happening with that, you ask? What is going to be THE FIRST SOLO ACOUSTIC RELEASE OF THE NEW etc.? The answer, of course, is that it will be a CD of a dozen or so totally new songs by both Mr Porter and the Brothers Miller. Mr Porter, together with Gary and Glenn of Whisky Priests fame, are teaming up to work as a trio. This project is so new that it doesn't even have a name yet. Some wag suggested 'The Long and The Short and The Tall', but as the three chaps' collective height is not quite equal to that of former Blyth guitarist Steve Ardcorr, it seemed a little inappropriate. They have performed live, however. An impromptu set at Hebden Bridge Trades Club broke their duck, and the second show will be as a support to The Whisky Priests in York on January 27th. The line up is Glenn Miller, accordion, Gary Miller, guitar, mandolin, or anything else with strings that seems appropriate, and Joseph Porter, guitar and percussion. It's early days yet, but someone was talking harmonicas at one point, and who knows what else could happen. TDL has had his eye on a banjo for ages. He doesn't know how to play one, but as you know that hasn't stopped him before. Everyone will share the crooning, and arrangements are being worked out collectively. Studio time is provisionally booked and it is expected that April and May will see the project getting out and about with a CD release to promote it. All this, plus the fact that IT'S THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!! And we're on the Internet, which we don't know how we ever survived without. Oh dear. I appear to have wet myself again.
WWW.What Do You Mean It's Too Difficult?
Please note that closing date for entries for the Grand Blyth Power Quiz is January 31st. Answers will be posted, and results announced at the end of February - or in the next mailout if you are not of the e-lite. A number of people have expressed the view that the questions are too hard. Ooooh! You great bunch of Marys! We'll have the GCE version out soon…
WWW.Whiskers.supermeat.catfood.co.uk
Yes folks, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. The Chairman's health update. The brute was subjected to an in-depth scrutiny at the vet's last December, and we were delighted to pay a fortune for the reassuring news that he is in fine fettle and will live for ages yet - certainly long enough to incur more vast bills WELL INTO THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!!!
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