So those who have not renewed will never know the answer to the last caption competition – unless they are really swinging-hip that is. In which case they would not have needed to be informed by this office that the answer to the last quiz was of course the very magnificent David Cassidy. TDL has an eggcup bearing a transfer of Mr Cassidy. It is a priceless artefact and apparently cost him the entire recording budget for the next CD project on e-bay. Sorry folks. You’ll just have to wait a year or two now.
This time round we have hit upon a really popular name for your amusement and instruction. Answers as usual to the PO Box, but don’t expect a prize as the old tightwad hasn’t got round to doling out the prizes he owes for the quiz that was run several years ago. Mingey git. Emma says could you send your answers on something that will burn quite nicely – like an old orange juice carton - as the fuel budget for this quarter is currently being bid on an original pressing of Pilots January in a rare limited edition picture sleeve.
NB. This competition not open to Mr J. Hilditch.
There's
A New Face In The Labour Camp
So what have we been up to of late, you may ask? Aha the stories we
could tell. Pretty much what we’ve always been getting up to,
although with the addition of Jerry and his unfeasibly large bass amp.
December saw the train driver’s debut in Horncastle, which is
as good a place as any to start. This was followed by Lincoln, which
pretty much sucked as the sound was terrible, but Leeds on the following
Monday proved to be an evening of wild rock mayhem in the finest tradition
of the band’s great and illustrious history. We adjourned to celebrate
the season, and came back with a loud bang in Dereham in March, where
we had the great honour of celebrating the tenth wedding anniversary
of Grid-fanatics Roger and Dawn. This was a day of intense orange vest
wearing, all present being in railway uniform, and there was much drinking
of strong ale and quoting of incomprehensible train numbers. Imagine
our surprise when no one was prepared to attempt naming all 74 Western
diesels. TDL is very rusty in this field these days, so if anyone wants
to challenge him to a Class 52 name dropping showdown, then Ropley in
May will be the time and place to do it.
Latest night of rock has been in Reading, at the Rising Sun art centre
where idle listeners were pleased to note, among other things, full
band renditions of Cynthia’s Revels and To Whose Gods, an up tempo
Royal George, and a new instrumental in the middle of Pastor Skull employing
a nice sensible A, D and E repetition, instead of the fiddly one that
was there before. Katherine’s Will made an appearance in Leeds,
and we are pleased to note that the Man at the Helm (sic) has refrained
from playing Stitching in Time interminably. This makes Jerry the first
member of the band since 1993 not to have played the dratted thing at
every single gig he has ever done. But it’s so easy to learn…
Jerry, interestingly enough, is the 24th full-time card-carrying member
of Blyth Power, which isn’t bad over twenty-one years. We’ve
known far worse.
I'm
Going Down The Astoria The Levellers Are Playing
Well it’s all very well going on about all this fabulous stuff,
but when are we actually going to get to hear it? So we are regularly
asked by A.Tosser of Bishop’s Stortford. Patience dear ones. Clearly
this is a time for rest and reflection at the moment. Gone are the days
when Blyth would play your local toilet three times a month. We did
that for years and it turned out not to be quite as much fun as we had
expected, so now the band’s dates are fewer and farther between,
and if you want to get a dose of the wit and wisdom of our glorious
leader then it will have to be through the medium of Red Wedding, which
is Mr Porter’s most cherished project at the moment. Probably
because he can get away with letting Steven do most of the work. The
duo recently spent a wild weekend in the company of Mr Philip Jeays
and the Speechpainter in the sunny south. Actually it wasn’t sunny.
The radio announced that Kent was closed by bad weather, so the gallant
twosome nearly stayed at home and ate toast instead. Fortunately, the
intrepid spirit that drove Shackleton to do all those silly things prevailed,
and they made Hastings by nine o-clock in spite of nearly a full inch
of snow in some places. Unfortunately no one else tried to brave the
weather, so it was a quiet Wednesday night, but none the less civilised
for all that. The good news for Hastings is that the chaps have been
approached to play an outdoor event on April 14th in the town. This
is to take place around 6.30pm in Wellington Place in the town centre.
Hope this reaches you in time…
Coming up are a couple of return matches with Mr Jeays and the Speechpainter
in Leeds and Northallerton. If you haven’t yet seen these chaps
in action then you are a weed, and an utter wet, and should jolly well
come along to either one of the dates at the start of October, when
Red Wedding will be playing host on their home patch.
The chaps have been mooting a second Red Wedding CD. This will prove
of immense interest as it will feature several of Mr Cooper’s
songs, including Of That Ilk, which the pair debuted in Brighton, and
which is designed to offend as many people as possible, and all the
otters in the land. Mr Cooper harbours a deep and festering grudge against
every otter that ever was, so we urge you all to bring inflatable ones
along to the Red Wedding shows and taunt him mercilessly.
The
Reading-Gatwick Sprinter With Extra Luggage Space
These are terrible times. The latest news on our namesakes is that although
Blyth Power Station has been demolished and the site ploughed with salt,
the venerable 56134 – the diesel locomotive formerly named Blyth
Power for those of you who haven’t been with us that long - has
been given a reprieve. Only just mind you. The powers that be have sold
it to the French, so it will no longer be seen hauling coal around the
North East of England, but instead will be working trains of bouillabaisse
slurry in the Dordognes. Heaven only knows what silly colours they will
paint the thing. Alas.
Rumours are, though, that a doppelganger is going to be fashioned in
its image, and will be putting in an appearance at an event rapidly
becoming known as The Gig By The Grid. This epoch-making event is to
take place at Ropley on the Midhants Railway on Saturday May 14th. There
is a diesel gala on that weekend, and revellers are to be subjected
to two 45 minute slices of Blyth Power after tea. 56045, it is hoped,
will be putting in an appearance for the gala, and there are plans to
change its identity for the day and whack Blyth nameplates on it. It
is then hoped to park the grid right next to the grass viewing area
where the band are going to set up and play. Admission will be by advanced
ticket only, and interested parties are advised to contact the organisers
on the number listed below. Tickets are going fast, so book early to
avoid disappointment, as this is one you do not want to miss.
As if this were not enough, Blyth go on to play the Bluebell Railway
Festival in early June, where no doubt fine diesel traction will be
outnumbered by antique water-boiling contraptions, but it is assumed
that a general ambience of railwayness will prevail. Just so long as
Thomas the ******* tank engine isn’t there. TDL is most fed up
with Thos the T.E, as recently he went to York Railway Museum with his
old school chum Fat Bob, who had travelled all the way to the frozen
North to see a Western (Class 52 diesel-hydraulic locomotive to the
uninitiated). Being a pair of mingey old gits, the fellows made the
most of the free admission, only to find that the yard outside was full
of children and silly-face wearing locos. £7 admission to this
bit caused the chaps to forego the delights of a 47, a 31 and a 37 with
split-box headcodes. TDL was furious, and Fat Bob was forcibly restrained
by three museum attendants who caught him trying to slip between the
crush barriers behind a party of school children from St Catherine’s,
Malton. Our chaps at the Bluebell will be supporting the Oyster Band,
so will probably be on at a civilised hour.
Nigel
Wants To Go To C & A
What’s new on the stock front this time round then? The answer
is a resounding absolutely nothing. New T-shirts will be forthcoming
in the fullness of time, but at the moment stocks are running low, so
if you want a Viking Station design you’d better hurry up. The
Gladly Give to Caesar CD is still lingering on, but we’re pleased
to see it gradually dwindling. Viking Station has been re-pressed, so
no danger of running out there, but Paradise Razed has now dropped to
double figures, and won’t be re-manufactured by anyone, ever.
Get it while you can.
Apparently Cherry Red have re-stocked Ten Years Inside the Horse, so
we recommend you borrow one from a friend and bootleg it. They are also
publishing a book on the Anarchist Punk movement, whatever that was,
for which TDL has been interviewed. So far only about The Mob –
about which he knows nothing – but the author has threatened to
interview him further on the subject of Blyth Power. That should make
interesting reading when it’s published, as any mention of the
word ‘anarchist’ to the old nazi is guaranteed to make him
foam in a most intemperate fashion. Mentioning it in the same breath
as the words ‘Cherry Red’ is tantamount to rogering his
cat. Let’s hope they don’t ask him what he thinks of The
Ex...
Take
My Advice That Cat Ain’t Posing
Madame
Chairman is pleased to herald in the Spring with a new collection of
horrid poetry. These are her thoughts on the Red Wedding project:
Death
Rides the red tide
And bleeds
Upon his
Blossom-smothered
Barren bride