The Really Incredibly Exciting News
So, here we all are again then - except, of course, for those who didn't read the small print and haven't renewed. All over the land people are coming up to us and saying 'I seem to have dropped off your mailing list.' The reason for this, of course, is that they have. The ruthless mailout programme has cut a bloody swathe through the ranks in a night of long knives that made the Rohm Putsch look like a garden fete. We're still here. So are you if you're reading this - but where are they… The big news in this issue is of course that the Agar Khan has sent us a racehorse for Christmas, and we keep it just for fun, for a laugh, a-ha-ha-ha. Second only to this is the impending arrival of the new CD, so with no further ado let's launch into a paragraph celebrating its nativity.
The Bricklayer's Arms
The Bricklayer's Arms is the first release featuring the definitive Blyth line-up. It is a collection of songs from the band's first two years of existence, and we are confident that it captures the energy and enthusiasm that has been driving the band over the last twelve months. The songs are all material from the long-deleted first LP, or that were in the live set at the same time. What, no new songs? Well, they are under rehearsal for a projected release later this year. In the meantime this release features songs that we have not had available for some years - to many of our readers they will be familiar only from the recent live shows. There will not be any re-issues of the original recordings, but as this knocks them into a cocked hat we don't think it matters. The firm has been careful not to duplicate any tracks that have surfaced on the live recordings in recent years, and in the case of one or two - Coriolanus springs to mind - it is presented for the first time as it was intended to sound. For those who know the original recordings, be of good cheer. The Bricklayer's Arms is the first in a series of impending reprises. Three other LPs will be re-recorded, a necessity due to the dirty scumbags who have appropriated the copyright to them. The Dear Leader swears he will die before he allows these dirtbags to profit from his work again with his connivance, and accordingly we will be remaking The Barman next year some time. Blood-sucking leeches. They may legally hold the rights to work for which we were never paid, but we do not recognise their moral right to take the shirt from the backs of honest hard-working musicians. The new release features twelve tracks from the olden days: Bricklayer's Arms, Blow The Man Down, Probably Going to Rain, Coriolanus, Smoke From Cromwell's Time, John O'Gaunt, Hurling Time, Goodbye General To Lose, God Has Gone Wrong Again, Bind Their Kings In Chains and The Junction Signal. We should have them by the mid-April, so get those orders rolling.
Out In The Midday Sun
Due out in early May is the first CD from Mad Dogs and Englishmen, which is the name lovingly bestowed upon the trio featuring the brothers Miller, from The Whisky Priests, and our own Dear Leader. Not since the First Triumvirate locked ancient Rome in its steely grip has there been such collusion. The kings of earth in fear will shudder when they hear what the hand of God hath wrought for the houses and the word. Provisionally entitled Going Down With Alice, the CD features five entirely new songs from each side of the house, and word on the street is that it is an extremely well put together piece of work. This has been a long overdue collaboration. The band go to distant lands in May to confound Magyars and Croats with their joint vocabularies but will be touring here in the Autumn and are currently available for bookings. If you like tunes, words, and a healthy measure of sheer bloody-mindedness then get on board with this one now… For information on this project, watch this space, or the Blyth websites. Alternatively, The Whisky Priests can be contacted at: Whippet Records. P.O. Box 72, York YO31 1LD. Tel/Fax: 01904 410038 or 01904 423060, mobile 0410 761845. Website: www.whiskypriests.co.uk E-mail: wp@whiskypriests.co.uk
Where Do You Go To My Lovely?
The sharp-eyed and attentive amongst you will have noticed that the phone number has changed. This has been the second time in four months that the firm has changed premises, and the new number is 01423 552342. Of course this second upheaval has resulted in delays all across the board, and not least in the matter of awarding prizes to the Great Quiz contestants. We will proceed as soon as the right boxes have been unpacked, but in the meantime we are pleased to announce that first prize will go to Mr Kevin from Hackney, second prize to Mr Russell Thompson, of 'Ten Years' artwork fame. Third was Mr John Hilditch, and fourth was Mr Mike Jarvis. Tawdry prizes to follow soon.
Diamonds and Pearls in Your Hair
Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to… well, everywhere really? Give or take the odd moment of stress things have been going according to plan. Apologies to those who turned up at The Garage to find the band short-staffed. This was due to an exploding radiator on the M1, and it was only thanks to the intervention of God on high (and the lads) that a band turned up at all. Greybeards will recall that the first ever Blyth gig at the same venue - then a squatted bingo hall - was as a three-piece. As this was the last time we'll set foot in the place, perhaps it was another mysterious example of the turning wheels of time etc etc. In the words of the sage: 'All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown…' Notable amongst recent forays was TDL's appearance at the Duchess of York's closing down show in Leeds. Himself whinnied for half an hour as support to Chumbawamba. Mr John Keenan - eternal promoter at the venue, delighted the attendant masses with his Elvis impersonation, and the band played a cover of The Strangler's Duchess. Not a dry eye in the house, except those of the souvenir hunters who stripped the venue bare of fixtures and fittings. TDL was most pleased to appear one last time on the one stage in England that has seen every member of Blyth ever. All our engineers mixed there, and Mr John Rutherford was even auditioned at The Duchess during a sound check. Another venue bites the dust. The chaps were also pleased to bump into Leon Rosselson, and legendary crooning man-boy Wob, who we were delighted to assail in Gosport with the aid of a crowd of children, whose facial contortions and ape impersonations were second to none.
Remember The Backstreets Of Naples
All three projects are constantly on the go - Blyth, Mad Dogs and Englishmen, and of course TDL and his expensive new guitar pick-up - so keep watching this space, as new dates will be coming in after we go to print. Worth watching out for are the dates with Barnstormer at the end of April, but the first appearance of the new CD on the sales stand will be at The Dome in London on April 23rd. Blyth will be playing very early at this huge event, so check times before you go. Eastfield too, our jolly chums, are out and about, so check up on their whereabouts as well. New T-shirts are in the pipeline with two full colour designs are under starters orders; one black and one white, they will follow the release of the CD. When? As soon as we've recouped some of the cash of course.
WWW.When You're Alone In Your Bed
The mad Doctor McBacchus is within an ace of starting up the new website, which we will be able to update on a weekly basis, so be prepared for an awful lot of very nasty photographs finding their way down your cables. We know it's been on the cards for a while, but it is happening, and will push forward the bounds of Internet technology in a positively pioneering fashion. Because of course, the internet is a crucial and important thing - not at all an annoying means of receiving ever more junk mail and wasting your time performing trivial, yet strangely compulsive, functions that don't really need to be done. Perish the thought.
Wanting To Get Inside Your Head
We are delighted to report that the glorious Chairman Meeow is still alive and kicking, although the mild winter, and the subsequent heavy moult has resulted, inevitably, in expensive problems. The Glorious One has been having trouble passing his fur balls. Due to his great age and decrepitude the Chairman has been subjected to the indignity of a course of laxatives, which have fortunately worked their will, and he has now passed a number of very unusual motions in council. Only by a whisker did he avoid being the recipient of an enema, an extreme measure that, we are informed, would have turned him into a ticking time bomb. Happily the problem is now cured, and His Illustriousness continues to guide and advise us on the thorny paths through which we are obliged to travel. Long live the Glorious Chairman. May his stool be thickened again soon.
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