A dissertation on the divine delights of diversity. There is more than one reason for going to Thornaby.

Beautiful flows the Tees
From Middlesborough down to the sea
They'll erect a statue of me
In Thornaby

Faith I met Caligula
Now I can't leave him alone
In Rome do as Rome does
Do as Rome does when in Rome
You can court your D'Artagnans
Woo them with pimpernels
But don't mess with Caligula
If you can't stand the smell

Hand wrought in delicate clay
On the chesterfield sofa he lay
Engrossed in a leatherbound book
Reading Shelly and Rupert Brooke
The most logical thing I could do
Was to give to Caesar his due
And quoting Seneca he
All my due gave me

As the cricketers proffer their bats
To the ladies in the big straw hats
The clink of bottles and coins
Sounds a knell as battle is joined
Says I 'tis never a match
To daisy cutters despatch
All God's in a lie quoth he
And a fast ball gave me

Verse B E E B
Chorus F# A E F#
Ending F#E