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A Little Touch Of Harry

A little bit of Private Eye set to music to celebrate a decade of political scandal and philandering.

Now entertain conjecture of a time
Creeping murmur and the darkness fill the wide bowl of the universe
Round the campfires through the foul womb of night
The protagonists are arming for their conflict on the morning
So behold as may unworthiness define
A little touch of Harry in the night

A little touch of Harry for a tired and unheroic age
And a little touch of Harry on the Blackpool conference stage

Oh Mr Hestletine I've made up my mind
I saw your pretty picture in the papers
Now I want to have your child

They say the North is underprivileged
But I don't know what they mean
Blackpool's one of the nicest towns I've seen
The hotels are better than Brighton
And Lythams links are grand
Strolling down the fairway to St Annes

And though the harbour lights look fine and fair to me
I can't see for sure but I think on the shoreline I see
That the winds of change unhindered
Are blowing the sands of time
So I washed away my sorrows in an oil well and bought a diamond mine

Act your own age
There's a leper in the corner and a lunatic reciting from the stage
He's overacting like a schoolboy playing Hamlet
In the end of term play
Watch exactly what you do
Don't run away with rhetoric or rhetoric will run away with you
With a little touch of Harry in the early afternoon

The days look set to get leaner
Because the chancellor won't be moved
I get a sinking feeling in my belly every time he airs his views
And can you keep it from the boys in the pressroom
But I won't be at the regency dance
Because I saw a pretty picture in a phonebox
And I had to take a chance

She'll dress in blue
She'll be smiling as she leads me down the hallway
Like the other girls do
Smiling as she nails me to the ceiling
As she tightens up the screws
And when we're through
We'll be smoking as we criticise the speakers
On the nine o'clock news
A little touch of Harry in a hotel room with you

And at the ball last night while dancing with the minister
He stroking down his forelock said I like your plan
Though your horns are black and shiny
And your boots are made of seal
You walk to heel

Tell the press secretary there's a girl on the line
She says you saw her pretty picture in a phonebox
Now she's going to have your child

So act your own age
Or you'll pull the party under with your bickering
You'd better behave
For we'll be smiling as we sing the international
And dig the mass grave
But it's a mystery to me
Why throw away your morals for a chatshow on the cable TV
For a little touch of Harry
And a little touch of Sarah Keays

So pardon me my lady
You strapped me on your unicorn
And rode me off along the union way
And when they bowl us out with underarms
Remember what your elder statesmen say
That when all the party maniacs
Believe in every syllable you say
A little touch of Harry goes a long long long long way

And the winds of change unhindered
Are blowing the sands of time
So I washed away my sorrows in an oilwell
And bought a diamond mine

Verse 1 William Shakespeare

Chords:
Intro. A D E A E A D E A E A D E A D E A
Verse 1 A D E A E A D E A D Bm E A D G A D
Verse 2 A F# E D E A E
Middle 8 D A D E A C#m D E A E