What Ashes Did Next

So a new year and a new venue, though admittedly a rather splendid one. We are happy to announce this year's Ashes will be happening on the weekend of 13th - 15th August at The Goat Inn in Skeyton, Norfolk. The venue is ideal for the event with a permanent marquee for the music, a huge expanse of field for camping and cricket, and some real toilets, though we may still get the Joseph Porterloos just to give the old man something to do. There is a childrens' play area for our ever growing creche, and for the rest of you a fine selection of real ales. Rumours are even reaching our ears of a Gaming Zone for the geekier element.

New also this year is a dedicated children's tent that Mr Porter will be overseeing, which will be running various inappropriate activites, including a Make Your own Jessi competition and Bedtime with Bemps Story Time. There will also be an alternative childrens' hymn practise on the Saturday and Sunday mornings which will be followed by a performance in the main marquee. A cruel wag here at Blyth Towers has suggested that having now sacked the entire adult population of the UK Mr Porter is now looking for Blyth members amongst the younger generation, but clearly this is a scurrillous slur. The old man has composed a special hymn for this occasion, and everyone is invited to come along and learn it. Song sheets will be provided.

Dogs are permitted if kept on a lead and cleared up after. Otherwise business as usual. We have engaged the services of a special celebrity umpire/compere for the weekend, about whom there is great excitement at Blyth Towers. All slots have now been filled and the full lineup is confirmed. We would please ask that anyone down to play who finds themselves unable to come along let us know as soon as humanly possible as we do have quite a reserve list developing...

The venue will be doing the usual bar meals, and also either a hog roast or bar-b-q on the Saturday for the non plant eaters among you.

This year the event will continue into Sunday night, with music finishing at 11pm, so do book Monday off and stay for another night's camping.

FRIDAY
7.30 - 8.10	Mourning for Autumn	Gothtastic Yorkshire folk, with songs that can make you smile, make you cry and make you dance.
8.20 - 8.55	Jammy Sammy	A warped, more depraved version of Phoebe from 'Friends' though much more twisted.
9.10 - 9.55	Pog	Electro punk folk shambles from veteran Ashes favourites.
10.15 - 10.55	Cracktown	Because sex sells, dammit! Prepare for them to enrapture you by their magnificence. They may destroy you, but only in order to save you.
11.15 - 12.00	Wob	Beautifully deep, yet musically intense, fun and outgoing - there is something indefinable about Wob that sets him apart from most other live acts.
SATURDAY
11.00	Childrens Hymn Practise	Alternative hymn composed by Mr Porter specailly for this year's Ashes. Practise will be taking place in the childrens' tent, but all are welcome to attend.
11.30 - 12.00	Red Wedding	Oh no, those two miserable old bastards are back again...
12.10 - 12.40	Gob Dylan	Like the Variety Sunshine Coach of punk rock, with a hint of the East Village gone very very wrong, in a good way. Features Bambi on bass.
1.00 - 1.50	Verbal Warning	The Spirit of '77, with original songs and a few songs from their heroes.
2.00 - 5.00	THE ASHES	Come one, come all, and enjoy Jessi Adams in defeat. Players of all ages, abilities and species welcome.
5.00 - 5.40	Deacon	The most splendid Mr Brown returns, with not a sign of dignity or a chocolate girl.
6.00 - 6.40	Alcohol Licks	Own brand Punk Rock, known as ALCO-PUNK...
7.00 - 7.40	Tres y el Ingles	Think Iggy Pop with Flamenco guitars, this is the rather resplendent Bemble and his band from Barcelona.
8.00 - 8.40	The Lovely Brothers	A troupe of masked and frenzied fools use their metaphorical whip of parody to deliver satirical melodic surrealism. Plus occasional incestuous face rape.
9.00 - 9.40	Eastfield	Jessi Adams and his punk fellows create music, mayhem and madness all their own.
10.00 - 10.40	Anal Beard	The musical equivalent of fouling up the post office queue while you buy stamps for twenty assorted amenities.
11.00 - 11.50	Blyth Power	Well, if you don't know by now, expect dense storytelling and plenty of anachronistic syntax.
SUNDAY
11.00	Childrens Hymn Practise	Alternative hymn composed by Mr Porter specailly for this year's Ashes. Practise will be taking place in the childrens' tent, but all are welcome to attend. This will be followed by a special command performance in the marquee to open the day's proceedings...
12.00 - 12.40	The 5 Man Army	Let the bells of freedom ring...
1.00 - 1.40	Pog	In a cynical attempt to play more time than Deacoin, Mr Paul 'Derek' Stapleton is back this time with a solo set of the lost gems of Pog's back catalogue.
2.00 - 2.40	Lying Scotsman	One of them is a Scot. Another is a trainspotter. Simple, really. Your job is to guess which is which...
3.00 - 3.40	Chris Butler	One bloke, three chords and a guitar, with a fire in his belly and a tune in his head. Where folk meets punk and protest meets resistance.
4.00 - 4.40	Boy in the Cupboard	Wry, melancholic indie stuff with Spanish guitar bits, from the ever lovely Lovely Brothers Ben & Malc, with an extra brother to boot.
5.00 - 5.40	Unicorn Power!	Fizz pop electro post punk three piece struggling to classify themselves within a single genre! Expect distortion and moustaches!
6.00 - 6.40	Amateur Ninja Club	Ecelectic mix of a no-wave Balkan assault, infused with one part Thai, one part Australian, one part Czech and a bloke from Hastings... You wish sweetheart.
7.00 - 7.40	NYSH	A sophisticated and dedicated bunch, but watch out for Osama.
8.00 - 8.40	Scumbag Philosopher	Conceived as a sort of situationist prank by a group of Norfolk-based misfits, Scumbag Philosopher have accidentally become a little bit popular. (Formerly known as Fuck Dress)
9.00 - 9.40	The Charlies	Grumpy, skint, and qualified for feck all.
10.00 - 11.00	Blyth Power	Described recently as a cross between Jake Thackray and Iron Maiden.

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